OH come on Tiff! Get it together!!

SO i walked 4.5 miles today and still n my funky mood its almost like a depression type of funk. It didnt help when my husband says "hey honey i see c ur really committed but u gotta love it cause its helping u. But i told him i dont have to love it and right now i dont even like it but it doesnt matter cause im doing it anyway. So then i go to weigh in and find i didnt loose anything or gain anything i guess its good cause i didnt gain so i was starvin and stopped at jack in the box for some breakfast and let me tell u it will be the last time i buy fast food u can use ur imagination and i will spare u the really groce details. This week in summary really sucked bad nutrition not enough water and not enough cardio. Blah blah blah:-(

In a Funk ;(

SO since yesterday i've been in a funk but i guess i just didnt realze it till this morning on my way to the track left alone with my thoughts. Funny hoe the devil can play u against yourself when u least expect it. Anyway lucky for me my walking buddy was there faithful with her wisdom as usual. Just dont feel like ive done much this week. I know i know you're thinking three miles a day thats great so what u had a bad nutrition day who cares. Well the truth is that yeah three miles a day is great and a bad eating day isnt really that as long as i dont let it continue but on the inside no one knows how i feel the guilt that comes along with all that food i shouldnt have had and the guilt of not feeling motivated. But u c when u know what God has done for me then u would feel bad too. U c cause when dont do evrything in ur power to keep yourself healthy it weighs on u.

but on a plus note I went to a job interview today in a dress I bought a month ago that was a lil too tight and didn't look that great. In the shower today I was checking stuff out (TMI) and I didn't see any change and this is week 3 but my husband says he sees changes all over my body and of course those changes have to be where I can't see them. but it must be true cause i can wear the dress and it's beautiful. in fact I was so happy about being able to wear it I've worn it all day even though I should've changed it but it is so comfortable.

so lazy!!

Ok so monday i did six miles yesterday i only did three and i had a horrible eating habits. First of all i made lasagna my first mistake and i didnt stop myself at a small piece but to make matters worse i ate canned biscuits dont bother to ask how many i ate just know that one biscuit is 200 cals n i really messed it up. On a plus my blood sugar was 127 fot the second day in a row without diabetic meds. Going back to the track this afternoon to attempt six miles again.

sometimes you must feel pain to know your alive.

so I did 6 miles this pm with Cindie, I jogged the straights of mile 2, 3 & 5 with my buddy right beside me. I got a little brave a few times and finished off the straight with a "high speed" sprint. i've decided i've got to start some strength exercises in the morning and make it consistant. my buddy did 11 miles total today she's rockin it out! when I grow up I wanna be just like her. LOL! eating habits at home have been good, it's just at work. There's nothing I need in the kitchen at work anyway, so i'm gonna challenge myself to stay as far away from the kitchen unless a patient needs something. going back to the track in the morning gonna make it 7 miles this time.

p.s. don't bother to tell me not to over do it, i'm fat not disabled!! I will be ok. what doesn't kill me can only make me stronger.

OOOOOO WOW!

started out with a really crappy day, worked last night on only 5 hours sleep, diet mistake number 1. then if that wasn't bad enough I hate two single servings of bbq chips at a whopping 240 cals for bag, yes, folks add it up 480 cals of nothing running through my body but I didn't drink any coffee but at this point i might as well have LOL! so to make matters worse i didn't go to the track this morning cause i got out of work late, my poor husband and my walking buddy both waiting for me at the track and I couldn't get there. I feel really bad about that, especially cause my husband took the bus home and we arrived at the same time at home. so moving week is coming soon and i must admit i am lil' anxious. hey a lady has been reading my blog all the way from pittsburg, my myspace blog and she said I was an inspiration to her, imagine that, me an inspiration cool. anyway, gotta go get in those 6 miles right now. keep ya posted on how it goes. peace!

uMMMM!

so my foot is hurt since thursday after I got brave and started to jog the straights and walk the curves. I only did for that for three laps maybe four but not that long and not that hard, but my foot hurts and it's swollen and without my feet this weight is not going to come off, I am so afraid. so even though I worked a 16 hour shift since last night and i am going back to work tonight, I am still going to the track, when I am done i will go and get and x-ray just to make sure nothing is broken. so there, I am going to get it taken care of but I will not stop walking. determined, is what you can all me, tired of being "fat" is what I am. Peace, love & hair grease.

228.6 (-2lbs)

SO heres the deal i hurt my foot yesterday somehow. But i got up this morning happy to have feet and i went to the track and walked four miles with my buddy who was quite encouraging. Anyway after our walk we went to my doctor to weigh in and im two pounds down for a total of seven pounds n 28 miles for the week.

i did well this week, but not as well as I could have. I really appreciate everyone's very needed support.

next week goal 30 miles and 5 pounds. let's see if i can. it's gonna take a lot of hard work and steppin' up my game but trust i will do it. God will halp and I can do this. After all he sent me my guardian angel to assist me so it would be a waste of God's good grace if I didn't work hard and do the very best that I could.

GRRRRRRRR!!!!

OMG! I am so frustrated right now, I just want to scream. My husband can make me crazy but that's not why I am blogging right now, I already gave into one temptation today and I ate the darn snickers bar in the fridge I have been trying to avoid all day. and now all i really want to do is eat until my troubles go away, I know however, that my troubles won't go away by the time I finish eating my pantry out of food, but at least I would just feel so bad physically that i would go to sleep and I wouldn't have to think about it. I can't stop crying and all i really want to do is eat. but i can't ruin the progress i've already made i've got to find something else to do. Sometimes the emotional part of being "fat" is worse than the physical part. ok who am i kidding the emotional part of being "fat" is always the hardest for me. going to finish 30 miles by friday if it kills and today I feel like it just might, but i will do it, come hell or high water, nothing is gonna get in my way not even a stupid snickers bar two of them as a matter of fact but I won't touch them. just gonna go upstairs and go to bed. that's a safe idea and probably the safest idea I've had all day.

verse of the day

Hebrews 6:18-19
Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us.19 This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God's inner sanctuary

I figured out how to copy/past my myspace blogs to the blogspot!! whooooo-hooooo!!

YAY! YAY! YAY! 3 cheers for my walking buddy, cause while I did 6 and that was great goal, she did 7. I did 6 miles today and with in that 6 miles I managed to talk about some stuff with my buddy that I don't usually talk about but now that I sit back it was good that I got to get it off my chest. I don't think she knows just how theraputic our walks really are. I got a few tears in my eyes from bringin' up the bad stuff of the past but I feel better, sometimes just talking to someone without their opinions and just their listening can help a person come to their own perosnal conclusions on how things should be done and that way is the way God has instructed us to do them. So thanks Cindie you are not only my walking buddy, but a really great listening ear that I feel very comfortable with. I enjoy our time together, the power of a waking buddy is amazing. yesterday while I struggled to walk a measly 4 miles I found myself in a place of thought that I don't usually like to be, just thinking about the negatives, the hurt, the pain, the emotional agony that got me to this place of "fat". But then this morning while walking I guess I was able to verbalize what I was feeling yesterday and to just get the thoughts out of head and "on the table" so to speak. So I guess it's good sometimes to spend some alone time with your thoughts. Looking forward to better days. today we get to sign the closing papers on our house, finally, the anxiety of moving can end. no more moving anxiety, no more childhood memories that I don't care to visit. so in total 16 miles as of today pushin for 30 by friday. Thank you Jesus, for all that you've done for me. Thank you for the freedom you give us to make choices in our lives. help us to make better choices as the days pass coming closer and closer to your coming. Bless the readers of this blog and allow me to inspire those to live closer to you. In Jesus' name. Amen.

so darn early & no coffee =(

On my way to the track this morning. gotta up my game and work a lil harder than the days before. gonna do 6 miles if it kills me. it's 5:57 in the morning, just had a really great breakfast with some awesome balckberries. Here I come track to kick your booty!! LOL!! I sat down this morning at the computer and looked down and realized that my lil pooch I have on my belly is just a lil flabby, there like no structure to it like there was before. at least before I started this journey it was firm and at least somewhat held together. As groce as it may soud and even more as groce as it may look I guess it's good thing if I'm loosing pounds and inches and my body shape is changing. I am anticipating a small amount of groceness with this change. OK! enough of this it's time to wake up my boys for school and time for me to let Cindie kick my but at the track =)

Why Ya Sittin' There??: 12 miles total

Why Ya Sittin' There??: 12 miles total

12 miles total

I walked 4 miles today, brought a friend this time from work (Kenisha). we had fun, I did 2 miles at the track and two more at home. wanted to do more today, but I had to sike myself out just to do the last two. meeting Cindie at 0630 ready and willing to get started. slept for the rest of the day and I feel kinds lazy but sometimes sleep is a good thing gives the body time to heal it'self. going to church tonight, ready for a revival kid style. thanks Cindie for the good job you did today, she's my hero, ran two miles, walk 4, did some "butt blasters" on the stairs and if that wasn't enough she jumped up the stairs all the way to the top. YOUR MY HERO, BUDDY!!

day 5

day 5 and we've walked 24 miles total, I've lost 5 pounds and I don't have to take my insulin anymore. The best part is that yesterday I was totally challenged and i wanted to eat my whole pantry. I text my walking buddy and she totally saved me. I had some really emotionally stressful things happen to me and i managed not to eat out of stress or emotion.